Wednesday, 30 September 2009

You must read John Redwood's letter from CEO, UK PLC

John Redwood's blog is always great, but I particularly love his letters from the CEO of UK PLC. Today's is basically a ridicule of Gordon Brown's keynote conference speech:
Dear Shareholder,

I thought you would be pleased to know we are having a great sales conference this week. On Monday our new Communications Director warmed up the audience brilliantly, whilst yesterday I got them to their feet with spontaneous applause even before I’d finished.

Some of the market research still looks poor, but we don’t believe a word of it. We just keep buying the research to help keep up the spending and the borrowing in accordance with our recovery strategy. The Sales force loved some of the new spending ideas we launched. Who said we’d run out of ways to spend your money, or even worse run out of uses for all the borrowings? It’s true some of the things we’d proposed before, but this time with the printing presses running there’s no reason why we shouldn’t just spend it to get them. So if it’s home care, cancer care, tougher policing or a new car you are wanting, we’ll put it on the UK’s flexible friend, the borrowing requirement. That’ll do nicely Sir. No there’s no need to pay a thing this side of the Election.

As I pointed out to the Sales force, who were a bit down before I explained it all, this extra spending will help us trounce our main competitors. They keep going round telling people they have to pay for things they order, and telling them that one day they have to repay the borrowings. That’s madness in my book.
You can read the rest of the letter by clicking HERE.

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