As for enforcing Parental responsibility, that is impossible under current legislation. Recent events have made me fully aware that I have absolutely no legal powers to protect or discipline my children.
My 14 year old daughter and all her friends smoke grass. There is not a damn thing I can do about it, because the Police can't do a damn thing about it (or won't). She left home two weeks ago and went to stay at a friends house. I went to bring her home and she refused to get in the car. I realised that the only way I could get her in the car was to knock her unconscious. Obviously I would not want to do this to my daughter but also I would have been arrested. I called the Police hoping they would bring her home. Two hours later the Police rang back to tell me there was nothing they could do. I rang social services to see if they could help, they told me that they couldn't help but would (after 28 days) send someone around to the house that my daughter was staying at to see if was suitable.
The reason my daughter left home?
I tried to stop her taking drugs.
Luckily she returned home after 13 days with her tail between her legs. The question is what can I do if she decides to walk out again? Sadly the answer is nothing.
I'm sure when I was a child the Police would have taken me home, legal or not. Now the Police are worried about being sued by 14 year old girls. The right’s of the many have been taken away to protect the few, that is why our society is crumbling.
I could go out now and start a car crime spree, safe in the knowledge that I would not be caught. I could smash my way into several cars and steal whatever I liked because the Police would not come out to investigate. The only way to cut crime is to adopt the Zero Tolerance approach that New York took (click on New York you will be amazed at the figures). You investigate and charge people for the small crimes. If people are locked up for minor crimes they are not free to carry out the major ones. That lets criminals know from the start that crime will not be tolerated.
If people were worried about being sent to prison for their first offence they would think twice. Now kids know that they have to run up a list of offences at least in double figures to warrant any serious action to be taken against them. We have made excuses for far too long for people coming from broken homes and deprived backgrounds. People know the difference between right and wrong no matter what their circumstances may be.
I come from a broken marriage does that mean I have more of a right to commit crime than someone who doesn’t?
It’s time to give back trust to the Police, Teachers and Parents. The law has always been in place for those who abuse that trust.
8 comments:
I really empathise with you, having two teenage sons myself, though not into drugs thankfully, but two boys down the road are.
Kids today know all their rights too, they know more than parents. I don't know what to say in response to this, it is a very difficult situation for you. You must be worried about your daughter and hope she does not become an addict who steals and whose life becomes uncontrollable. I sincerely wish you the best of luck.
Thanks Ellee,
Things are settling down a little and I think she has genuinely been homesick. Thanks for dropping in.
Regards
Steve
Hi Steve,
I, being a father of a 2.5 year old boy, think of these things. I don't know what I would do if I were in the same situation... It may be too late for certain disciplines. I don't know...
all the best to you and yours
As I read this post, my own experiences came rushing back into my mind - if they had ever truly left.
In our case, our fifteen year old daughter took up with a 24 year old convicted robber, went 'missing from home' on ten occasions, all of which were reported to the police and subsequently became pregnant by the man in question in the April she was due to sit her GCSEs.
We too learned the hard way of the utter uselessness and impotence of the 'authorities', including the social services, educational services and the police, who frequently told us they couldn't help. Indeed, on one memorable occasion, a social worker with whom I discussed the case in an effort to obtain their help actually said to me Mr Anonymous, you have done everything I could possibly suggest. We really exist to help the dysfunctional and those incapable of helping themselves, so I'm sorry, there's nothing else that I can say.
I hate to say this, my friend, but be prepared for it to get worse - much worse - before it gets better.
And no, our daughter didn't take drugs, either.
Good luck.
Jack and Anon@14:11,
What makes things worse is that she was an absolute angel up until about 3 months ago.
She just fell-in with the wrong crowd at school. I hope it's just a phase because she's going to ruin her life if she carries on the way she is.
From anon at 14.11:
This is deja vu for me.
I have no words of advice - I just wish I had.
You and yours are in my thoughts tonight.
I can imagine the difficulty you must be having. When you love a child and try to instruct them in the way to go and then, they go their own way...
Keep up the hope...
So glad to hear it, and I'm sure she appreciates the love and support you give her. I hated being a teenager, glad I'm over that period, I felt so hormonal and unsettled.
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