Wednesday, 11 March 2009

Jelly now 2/1 to be used in next Minister attack.

From William Hill:

FOLLOWING the 'green custard' attack on Peter Mandelson, Jelly has emerged as the popular dessert most likely to be next aimed at a Ministerial target, say bookmakers William Hill, who have slashed the odds about that happening from 20/1 to 2/1 favourite.

"After taking several bets for Jelly to be utilised in the next dessert incident directed towards a Minister, we realised just what an adaptable and effective material it is and slashed the odds accordingly. "We will pay out regardless of the flavour used. The bets we have taken are not just for trifling amounts" said Hill's spokesman Graham Sharpe

When Hills initially opened a book on which popular dessert will next be thrown over any British government minister, they installed Spotted Dick as their 3/1 favourite, but have now lengthened the odds about this perennially popular pud to 5/1.

"British democracy has regularly witnessed examples of harmless substances being directed at controversial politicians to give them their just desserts in the past, and as long as protesters utilise harmless foodstuffs it is only politicians' dignity which is threatened" added Sharpe.

Hills make Ice Cream their 6/1 third favourite to be the next dessert aimed at a top politician during 2009, and also offer 7/1 Rhubarb Fool ;Apple Pie; and Angel Delight; 8/1 Rice Pudding; 9/1 Bread and Butter Pudding; 10/1Custard again;10/1 Sherry Trifle; 12/1 Summer Pudding, 14/1 Semolina.

"If both jelly and, say, ice-cream should be used, dead-heat rules will apply" said Sharpe.

FOLLOWING Mr Mandelson's close encounter with the green custard, William Hill have opened a book on who will be the next Cabinet Minister to be targeted by pud protesters, and make Gordon Brown 3/1 favourite, with Peter Mandelson a 6/1 chance to suffer again before any other Minister does so.

"After the Mandelson custard ambush, Ministers may face an outbreak of pudding flinging - which will at least make a change from mud and insults."

Next Minister to be struck by dessert: 3/1 Gordon Brown; 4/1 Jacqui Smith; 5/1 Harriet Harman; 6/1 Mandelson; 8/1 A Johnson; 9/1 D Miliband; 10/1 E Miliband; 12/1 Y Cooper (Others on request).
I'd pay good money to see Harriet Harman or Jacqui Smith hit with an Asda's lemon meringue (preferably still in the delivery truck).

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